I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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