At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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