Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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