There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
