new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
