Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
