That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
