this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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