how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
