my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
