What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize