Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just want to make out with him forever
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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