Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
