this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
