Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
