he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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