I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
