i need an iv and a liver transplant
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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