Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
