I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
