addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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