I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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