He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
