just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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