I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
