My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
