goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
