Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
