Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
