Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
