But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize