whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just cropdusted the office
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
