i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
