I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
