so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
whose ass print is on the piano?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
