when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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