all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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