Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
