I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
we should paint friendship bongs
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
