She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
