I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
