Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
