i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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