So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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