So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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