THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
