Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
