I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
