me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
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