im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
