oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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