4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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