Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I want to be your penis for a week.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
