I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
