I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
