I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
