A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
