apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize