Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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